The Subtle Power of Presence: How Size, Posture, and Behaviour Shape Customer Experience

A few years ago, we conducted a customer satisfaction study for a large supplier of food raw materials. As part of their annual cycle, the company would meet with clients to negotiate contracts and pricing for the year ahead. These were routine, structured conversations—until one piece of feedback stood out.

A customer asked if they could be assigned a different representative for the next round of negotiations.

The reason wasn’t poor performance or lack of professionalism. Quite the opposite—the representative was described as personable and capable. The issue, surprisingly, was his physical presence. He was, as the customer put it, “a huge bear of a man,” and they found him intimidating to negotiate with, despite there being no real threat behind the impression.

At first glance, this might seem trivial. But it raises an interesting question: how much does physical presence—something as simple as size—affect customer experience?

That question resurfaced more recently during a visit to a local restaurant. The maître d’, who was also the owner, was similarly imposing in stature. Unlike the supplier’s representative, however, he did little to soften that presence—no warm smile, no particularly welcoming demeanour. The result was a subtle but persistent unease that coloured the entire dining experience, from arrival to departure.

These observations led us to explore what research says about physical presence and behaviour in customer-facing roles. Interestingly, this isn’t a new area of study. Back in 1993, Michael Lynn and K. Mynier published a paper in the Journal of Applied Social Psychology examining how a waiter’s posture influenced tipping behaviour.

In their study, a waiter alternated between standing upright and squatting down to the customer’s eye level when taking orders. The results were striking: customers tipped significantly more—around 16% higher—when the waiter crouched rather than stood.

Subsequent research by psychologist, Stephen Davis and colleagues, reinforced these findings. Across multiple restaurants, servers who lowered themselves to diners’ eye level consistently received higher tips than those who remained standing.

Why does such a small behavioural shift make such a difference? At its core, it comes down to perceived power dynamics. Standing over seated customers can unintentionally create a sense of hierarchy or dominance. By lowering themselves, servers reduce that imbalance, making the interaction feel more equal and comfortable. Eye contact improves, conversations feel more natural, and the overall interaction becomes more human.

Of course, posture is just one piece of the puzzle. Most organisations already recognise the importance of smiling, active listening, and empathy in customer interactions. But there’s a less obvious trap that’s worth highlighting: trying too hard.

While warmth and attentiveness are essential, there is a tipping point—quite literally—where helpfulness turns into obsequiousness. And research in social psychology suggests that this shift can actually harm customer experience rather than improve it.

Overly submissive or fawning behaviour tends to backfire for several reasons. First, it often feels insincere. Customers are highly attuned to authenticity, and exaggerated politeness or excessive compliments can come across as manipulative. This erodes trust rather than building it.

Second, it raises suspicion. When a salesperson agrees with everything or appears overly eager to please, customers may begin to wonder what’s being concealed. Is the product lacking? Is there a hidden catch?

There’s also the issue of psychological pressure. Excessive deference can create a sense of obligation—making customers feel like they should buy or tip more. Rather than encouraging compliance, this often triggers what psychologists call “reactance”: a desire to push back and reclaim autonomy.

Finally, there’s the simple matter of comfort. Most people don’t want to be treated like royalty. Being on the receiving end of exaggerated servility can feel awkward, even unsettling. Customers generally prefer interactions that feel balanced—respectful, but not deferential.

The distinction between effective service and off-putting behaviour is subtle but important. A confident, friendly server who makes eye contact and responds promptly creates a sense of ease. In contrast, someone who hovers, apologises excessively, or adopts a pleading tone risks undermining both their credibility and the customer’s comfort.

The same principle applies beyond hospitality. In sales environments, moderately confident and personable representatives consistently outperform those who are overly ingratiating. Confidence signals competence; excessive eagerness can signal the opposite.

So where is the sweet spot?

The evidence points to what might be called “confident warmth.” This is the ability to be approachable and attentive without sacrificing self-assurance. It’s about meeting customers at their level—literally and figuratively—while maintaining authenticity.

The lessons are surprisingly simple:

• Reducing physical or perceived power distance (through posture or positioning) can enhance connection.

• Genuine friendliness builds trust; exaggerated deference erodes it.

• Customers respond best to interactions that feel equal, not hierarchical.

Ultimately, customer experience isn’t just shaped by what we say or do—it’s influenced by how we present ourselves in the moment. Size, posture, tone, and behaviour all send signals, often subconsciously. And as both research and real-world experience show, those signals can make the difference between a comfortable interaction and one that customers would rather avoid.